


Like Sunshine & Daisies

by AdrianManwaring



Series: Nichomachean Relations [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Remus Lupin, Blood and Injury, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Character Death, Death, Death Eaters, Domestic, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inferred abuse, M/M, Mudblood, Muggle/Wizard Relations, Multi, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Omens, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Pansexual Sirius Black, War, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:22:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29703291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianManwaring/pseuds/AdrianManwaring
Summary: The year is 1995, and the wizarding world is about to be thrown into another grueling war. Relationships are tested, conflicts arise, and tensions escalate inside the walls of Hogwarts. With bad things to come, how will Jane and Remus cope?
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Severus Snape & Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black & Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Nichomachean Relations [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048660
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	1. The Visit: Part One

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want to say anything, but now that the first book is finished... this book is much more exciting. While Angel for the Underdogs was necessary to develop the main characters, this book and the third book jump right into the action. I'm so excited to jump into this.

July, 1995

Jane looked forward to summers at her cottage. Free from the stress of work, she was able to relax away in her little slice of heaven. The cottage was hidden in the woods, about a mile’s walk away from a small pond. The interior matched what a child would describe as a fairy’s house; dried flowers, jars full of herbs and various types of teas, plants lining every windowsill, antiques lining every shelf.

The exterior was just as beautiful, if not more. The front yard was littered with flowers of every kind. Stone steps led up to the doorway. A wooden arch stretched over the path, overgrown with vines producing lovely little purple and white flowers. Her backyard was dedicated to her garden; tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, cucumbers, corn, beans, berries, herbs, spices, you name it. She had one apple tree and one lemon tree, and in the summer, the whole yard smelled of citrus. Further down her property was a freshwater creek that led to the pond, where small fish loitered and crayfish hid under rocks.

It really was a slice of paradise.

When she wasn’t tending to her garden, she kept herself busy. She’d gotten quite good at baking. She had acquired a taste for tea over coffee. She learned how to press flowers and make syrup out of lavender. And, of course, she continued to draw.

Sometimes she would head into town for groceries, sometimes she would go to the flea market held once a month. The local church would begin hosting sewing classes in the fall, and although she wasn’t religious, she considered sitting in on a few lessons before she left for Hogwarts. Aside from her trips into town, Jane didn’t get much socialization. She had begun to name some of the animals that she recognized, occasionally sitting outside and singing to them while she ate her breakfast or worked in the garden. Some might say she’d gone mad, but to her, she was just living her life as she’d always done.

She missed Hogwarts. The students and the staff. Whenever she looked out into the night sky and saw the moon, she immediately thought of Lupin. It hurt, thinking of him. He hadn’t written all summer like he said he would, and without his address, she had no way to write to him first. Then again, once the first summer passed, she didn’t expect he’d write her the following year.

And, yes, okay, they did share a moment together before they’d parted ways. And it was probably why he hadn’t written her anything. And it was probably why it sometimes kept her up at night. She hated to think that their friendship was over because he had somehow changed his mind. After all, it was _him_ who kissed _her_. Not just a quick peck, either. It was a pick-her-up-and-press-her-against-the-wall kiss. Sometimes she feared she would never hear from him again. As time went on, this fear solidified itself.

That’s why it took her by surprise when she heard a knock on the door.

She had just come inside from gardening all afternoon, and had taken a shower. At first, she thought it was the mailman, but she didn’t recall ordering anything. Through the screen door she could just make out the shadowed outline of a tall figure on her doorstep. Cautiously, she slipped open the lock and opened the door.

“When you told me you lived in a cottage in the woods, I didn’t think you meant a cottage plucked straight from a fairytale story.”

She stood in front of him, shocked and at a loss for words. She meant to invite him inside, to tell him she was glad to see him, to ask where the hell he’d been and why he never wrote to her. But she couldn’t move.

He rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Have I… come at a bad time?”

She wanted to tell him off for leaving things up in the air on the last day and then vanishing. She wanted to tell him that every time she heard a wolf howling far off somewhere she hoped just for a second that it was him. She wanted to ask him if he’d known what happened since they last spoke, if he’d been aware of the chaos that appeared after he left. She wanted to tell him that he had a lot of nerve, showing up out of nowhere like that.

“Right. Sorry.” He blushed, stepping back. “Sorry, this… I should have told you I was coming. So sorry.”

He turned to leave, but a soft hand suddenly grabbed his wrist. It was such a small gesture, but it made the butterflies in his stomach flutter.

“Hi,” she said, voice barely even a whisper. She smiled shyly. Remus smiled back.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” she repeated, giggling at how speechless she was. She soon came back to her senses. “My god, hi.”

She stepped forward and wrapped her thin arms around him, relieved when she felt him hug her back.

“So sorry, I was just… very surprised to see you.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “Please come in, mind my manners.”

Remus followed her inside and placed his coat on the rack by the door. Immediately, he was hit by a wave of something that made his mouth water.

“Have you been cooking? Something smells amazing.”

“I made some bread this morning, if that’s what you’re smelling,” she called out from the kitchen. “You’re more than welcome to help yourself.”

He sat down at the kitchen table, admiring how well decorated every room was. The kitchen was no different.

“I can put some tea on the kettle if you’d like.”

He breathed in the smell of freshly baked bread. “That sounds lovely, thank you.”

She prepared their tea and sliced the loaf of bread, picking out a few jams to spread on it. She set everything down on the table and took the empty seat across from him.

“You have a wonderful home,” he said, taking a small plate. “I’m sure you’ve heard that a lot, but it’s true.”

“Thank you,” she grinned, taking the first slice. “I haven’t heard that, actually. Haven’t had many guests over.”

Remus ignored the pang of guilt in his chest, picking up one of the jars of jam to examine instead.

“Did you make this, too?”

She nodded, watching him spread some onto a slice. When he took a bite, he closed his eyes and moaned quietly. Jane stifled a giggle.

“Jane, this is fantastic.”

“Thank you,” she repeated, amused by his endless stream of compliments.

“I hope I haven’t burdened you, stopping by unannounced. I really would have written first, but…” He trailed off, choosing not to open that can of worms just yet.

“You could never burden me, Remus,” she assured him. She touched his hand on the table. “I’m so glad to see you, honestly. I’ve missed you.”

“And I’ve missed you.” Remus stared at her, looking like he wanted to say more. Instead, he helped himself to another slice.

When the tea was ready, she poured them both a cup, and the pair caught up with each other. As soon as they began talking, it was as if they had never left Hogwarts. It was just like they were two old friends who had known each other for years. Afterwards, Jane took him on a tour of her garden, which included an eager taste test from the old professor. When they retreated to the sofa later that evening, and the sky began to grow darker, they cozied up with another cup of tea.

“I must say, it was quite the journey getting here.” Remus sipped the last bit of tea from his cup. “Your home is very well hidden from the rest of the world.”

“An introvert’s paradise,” she joked.

Remus laughed. “You? An introvert? The girl who approached me on her first day at Hogwarts?”

“Believe it or not, yes.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“I just get nervous about first impressions.” She blushed. “I talk too much and end up acting kind of ditsy, but it’s completely involuntary. And you were easy to talk to.”

“Good to know.”

“That reminds me. How did you even get here? You don’t own a car, do you?”

Remus shrugged. “Ah, no. I caught rides where I could, walked a bit when I had to.”

Her eyes widened. “I hope it wasn’t very far!”

“Not at all,” Remus lied.

In all honesty, Remus had been living back at the Shrieking Shack again. Nobody knew of his whereabouts. After he had resigned from his position, he didn’t have anywhere to go. His funds were running low, as was his supply of wolfsbane. Dumbledore led him out of the castle and down to Hogsmeade, and Remus had waited until he left before walking back. It was the only place he knew to turn to.

Jane worried her lip between her teeth, watching the older man. Something was off about him. She wondered briefly if he was still put off by their last encounter. If there was any time to ask him about it, now might just be the time. She needed answers. Better yet, she needed clarity.

“Remus,” she began, choosing her words carefully so as to not scare him away. “There is something we need to talk about. I think you know what it is.”

He studied his empty teacup, choosing not to look at her.

“The day that you left, you kissed me.” She cast her eyes downward. “And then I didn’t hear from you after. What happened?”

He sighed, setting the cup down on the coffee table. He was quiet for a moment.

“I was packing up my things, and, I don’t know.” He rubbed his tired face with his hands. “I guess I realized that I had started to have feelings for you. You were one of the only people I still had in my life that I felt close to, and I wanted to make sure that I didn’t mess this up. Because I care about you. I do.”

“But then you left. Without giving me any answers.” She folded her hands on her lap, lowering her voice. “I didn’t know where we stood. I still don’t. I mean, what was going through your head? You kissed me and then left without saying a word.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I had only seen you as a friend for the longest time, and then, christ, I don’t know.” His eyes returned to the empty teacup. “You fell asleep on my shoulder on Christmas. And I looked down, and it hit me out of nowhere. And I was terrified.”

“You were scared of what I’d think?” she asked, attempting to finish his train of thought. He shook his head.

“In part, yes. We had become such good friends. I didn’t want to mess that up. But I was more afraid of getting that close to someone. The potential danger that I could put you in.”

“Never mind _me_ , Remus. You didn’t just leave me.” Her eyes narrowed. All of her pent-up emotions were about to come out. “Do you have any idea what’s transpired since you’ve disappeared? A student of mine died. He was killed, and you know who had to watch it happen? Harry. The Harry that you claimed you’d never lose again. Remember that?”

Remus paled. “Jane…”

“He was thrown into that stupid tournament and had to watch his friend die. He carried his friend’s corpse back home, and he cried over his body as everybody in that arena watched him publicly break down. He had to face every challenge knowing that everyone else was better prepared, and that he was just a kid that didn’t know what to do. He was _terrified_ , Remus. And you never reached out to him. Not a single letter.”

“Jane-”

“And then his defense teacher tried to kill him, just to top it all off. There’s been dark magic popping up everywhere, attacks every week, and all I could do was hope that this 14 year old boy didn’t kill himself, or get killed by someone else. I hoped that you hadn’t run off and gotten yourself killed either, but of course, I had no way of knowing that.” She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, trying to calm herself down. “Yes, Remus, I needed my friend. But he needed his teacher. And you weren’t there for him.”

“Jane, please,” he begged. “You have to understand. I thought my life was over. I _wanted_ to stay at the school, but I couldn’t. I had to leave, or Dumbedore would have taken the heat. I didn’t have time to think things through. It was bad timing, I know, and if I could go back and do things differently, I would. I kissed you, I left, and afterwards I realized that I messed up. So I hid from it. And that was wrong of me to do that to you. And to Harry.”

The color returned to his face, now that everything was out in the open. He rubbed at his temples. “Is Harry okay now? I mean, is he safe?”

“He’s fine.”

“Is he mad at me?”

“I don’t know. Everything I hear about him, I hear through other people. I’ve never met him before.”

He swallowed. “And you? Are you okay?”

She twirled her thumbs on her lap. “Getting there, I suppose.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Remus,” she whispered, “you could have told me. We could have talked about it together.” She leaned forward to hold his hand, but he quickly pulled it away.

“Jane, look. People like me,” he stalled, “people with my… condition. We’re used to being on our own. Less collateral damage if things go wrong. If I would have hurt you…” He trailed off, not wanting to think of the possibilities. “You deserve so much better. I couldn’t put you through all that.”

“You don’t deserve to live your life alone, in fear that you _might_ hurt someone.” She reached for his hand again, this time succeeding. “If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times. Your condition does not change the way I see you. Yes, there are risks. But they’re risks I’m willing to take, if only you’d _let me_.”

Remus stared at his worn shoes, avoiding her gaze. 

“Remus,” she said, squeezing his hand. “Please look at me.”

Reluctantly, he complied.

“You deserve to find happiness. You deserve to surround yourself with people that care about you. And when you find those people, you cannot push them away. Because it hurts when you do.”

Remus breathed deeply. He had heard those affirmations before, and although he truly did want to believe them, the darker side of his mind cast them aside. It was a constant mental battle he faced.

“I’ll try,” he agreed quietly. He watched her face light up in relief before he decided that it may be time to call it a night. “However, I think I should be going. It was lovely seeing you again.”

He stood up from the sofa, and Jane did as well. She held onto his arm as he turned towards the door.

“Stay the night,” she said. “Please.”

He smiled at her sadly. “I couldn’t trouble you with that. You’ve welcomed me into your home, you’ve fed me, you don’t have to give me a place to sleep as well.”

She loosened her grup, but still held onto him.

“Stay so that I know this won’t be the last conversation we have. Because I know you, and I know that if you leave here right now, you’re going to overthink things and I’ll never hear from you again..” Her face fell. “I’ve just gotten you back. I don’t want to lose my best friend again.”

Remus’s face flushed as a wave of guilt washed over him. She was right, as much as he hated to admit it. He couldn’t stand the pain in her voice. Had he really hurt her that much by disappearing?

“Just for tonight,” he agreed, putting her at ease. “And then I must be going.”

* * *

Jane arranged the couch into a makeshift bed, relieved that she had gotten some sort of closure. Although a part of her was afraid that she’d wake up tomorrow and he’d be gone, she chose to trust him. She only hoped that he wouldn’t let her down.

He got comfortable, and Jane turned off the lights. Before she retired to her room, she turned to him.

“Just for future reference, Remus, if you like someone, the first step would be to actually tell them.”

She heard him chuckle under his breath in the dark.

“Goodnight, Jane.”

“Goodnight.”

She closed the door, leaving Remus alone with his thoughts. And boy, did he have a lot to think about. He replayed the night’s conversation over and over, picking apart everything that was said. He’d told her everything, and she had listened patiently. Even after all he put her through, she was still willing to forgive him.

Merlin, he was stupid. So, so stupid.

Why hadn’t he said anything after he kissed her? Who even does that? He didn’t even ask if she wanted to kiss him. He didn’t let her say anything. Did he screw everything up? What if she was just lying to him? What if she was creeped out, and she was just trying to be nice?

The front door beckoned to him, tempting him. He could just get up and leave. He could be out of her life forever, and she wouldn’t have to worry about him fucking things up again. It would hurt a little at first, but she’d forget about him over time.

_No_ , he stopped himself. _You can’t do that to her again_.

Still, the dark spaces of his mind fought against him, back and forth.

_You don’t deserve people like her in your life._

_If you leave, she’ll hate you._

_Look at how badly you’ve hurt her already. Imagine what else you could do. You’re bound to mess up again._

_If you leave, she’ll spend her whole life thinking she did something wrong._

_She doesn’t love you._

_She loves you, you bonehead._

He sat up, tearing at his hair. _Shut up, you blundering idiot. Black the voices out. Think this through_. He inhaled a shaky breath to steady himself, and slowly let it out. He hated the way his hands trembled. The darkness seemed to suffocate him, keeping him from thinking straight. With a sigh, he stood up from the sofa and carefully folded the blankets. His feet found the way to the door without him even telling them where to go. His heartbeat quickened as he placed his hand on the doorknob.


	2. The Visit: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Sexual content~ in this chapter

Jane blinked through the darkness of her room, listening for the noise that had woken her up. Sure enough, she heard it again; a soft knock against her bedroom door. She switched on her bedside lamp and sat up in bed.

“You can come in,” she called out.

The doorknob turned. Lupin stood awkwardly in the doorway. He didn’t enter the room, choosing to stay put where he was. When he didn’t immediately speak, she climbed out of bed and walked towards him.

“Is everything okay?”

Wordlessly, he shook his head.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

He nodded. Just when she thought this was going to turn into a guessing game, he broke his silence.

“I still have feelings for you.”

She crossed her arms, smiling up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yep.”

She studied his face. “Does it scare you?”

“It’s bloody terrifying, yeah.”

She chuckled softly. “Thank you for telling me.”

They stood in silence, an unspoken feeling in the air. Jane bit her lip.

“So now what?”

Remus ginned nervously. “I’m not quite sure. You didn’t tell me what the second step was.”

Jane bowed her head, leaning into him and laughing quietly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. His hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer to him. All thoughts of leaving had evaporated from his mind.

“Sleep in here with me?” she asked in between kisses. He nodded, crashing their lips together again as they found their way to the bed. Jane sank down onto the duvet as Lupin climbed over her, letting his hands roam under her shirt. She gasped when he cupped her breasts, his thumbs teasing over her nipples. She tugged at his sweater, and he took the hint, sitting up to pull the garment over his head. His undershirt was next to go. While he was distracted, she removed her own shirt, allowing her eyes to drink in his shirtless torso for the first time. He was surprisingly skinny under all those bulky layers.

He lowered himself back down to her and kissed her jaw. She moved her head to expose more skin, which he quickly gave attention to. Her hands snaked down his body, hovering just above his zipper. He pulled away from her neck, and they both shared a look. His breath hitched as she slowly began to unzip him.

“It’s been a while,” he confessed, breathing heavily. Jane reached up and brushed the hair out of his face. 

“It’s okay.”

When she unzipped him all the way, he began to back away from her. She propped herself up on her elbows and gave him a confused frown. That is, until he rested his hands between her thighs and spread them apart. Her heart pounded as he pulled her panties off and tossed them aside. He gently pulled her towards the end of the bed, kneeling on the ground so that his face was level with her body. He gave her a lust-filled look before licking a stripe over her cunt. She shivered in response, making him smile against her inner thigh. He repeated the action, this time sucking on her clit. She gasped, hands threading into his hair as he began to eat her out. He had reduced her to a wriggling mess in seconds, all while looking up at her with _ that _ look.

“Remus,” she breathed, “come up here.”

He abandoned his task, standing up and quickly stepping out of his trousers. He was painfully hard, and wanted nothing more than to be inside her. As he positioned himself between her legs, he admired the young woman underneath him. How painstakingly beautiful she was. His heart swelled.

He must have been staring for too long, for not even a second later, he felt her hand trace over his cheek. He blushed, sliding himself into her.

They both inhaled sharply, adjusting to each other. He pushed in further, clutching her hand and holding back a moan. When he was buried up to the hilt, she pulled his upper half down to her level. Flush against each other and lips attached once more, he began to thrust into her. He kept things slow at first, giving her a chance to get used to him. But soon, his own urges took over, and he picked up speed. Her breathy moans mixed with his grunts as he finally found a rhythm. He knew he wouldn’t last very long.

“F- _ fuck _ ,” he stammered, feeling her clench around him. She was close. He picked up speed again, snapping his hips faster and faster. His moans grew higher as he grew closer. Jane held onto him, nails digging into the small of his back. He arched into the touch.

“Remus,” she whispered, looking up at him with those half-lidded doe eyes that he loved. He bent down and sucked on her collarbone, and that was what sent her over the edge. His name coming from her lips was enough to make him melt. He felt the familiar build up, and pulled out just in time. He came hard, crying out in pleasure. She helped him through his climax, holding onto him so he wouldn’t collapse on top of her. He was in a full state of bliss as he came down. Jane moved over to make room for him on the bed, and he sank down beside her. 

Jane left the room to pee. While she was away, he casted a quick scourgify over himself and the sheets. He was tired, but he wanted to wait for her to come back to bed before he fell asleep.

She returned a few seconds later, and rejoined him on the bed. She nestled into Remus’s boney body, and within minutes, he was out cold.

* * *

The following morning felt unnaturally serene. Remus woke up comfortable and warm, and… naked. It took a moment for his sleep-clogged brain to wake up with the rest of him, but he slowly began to recall where he was and why he was there. In a bed. Not a shack. Last night was a vivid memory that played over and over in his mind. With everything out in the open now, he could finally breathe. He turned on his side and reached out to feel her.

But she wasn’t there.

Where Jane once lay was an empty space and a half-made bed. He blinked his tired eyes open and glanced around the room. It was empty. Remus sat up and rubbed his face, immediately beginning to overthink again. He’d blew it, hadn’t he? He made things weird again. He  _ slept _ with his  _ best friend _ . Of course she hadn’t stuck around after. She regretted it all, and probably didn’t have the heart to tell him.

He needed to leave. He needed to leave right now.

He got dressed in record speed, skipping a few buttons on his shirt in the process. He was hopping on one foot while trying to shove his other foot into his too-tight shoes when he heard the door open from across the bedroom. Jane stared at him with a strange expression, mug in hand.

“What are you doing?”

Remus blushed furiously, realizing how stupid he looked. “Just… getting dressed?”

“Without your pants?”

He risked a glance down at himself and realized that he was, in fact, missing his pants. His face burned hotter.

“Right then.” Jane fought back a grin. “How do you like your eggs?”

Remus felt like his brain was short-circuiting. “My what?”

“Your eggs.” The corners of her mouth twitched. “Scrambled? Sunny side up?”

“Um,” he said lamely.  _ Say something, you idiot _ .

She closed her eyes and giggled under her breath, unable to hide her amusement. “I’ll surprise you. Come out when you’re ready.”

She closed the door behind her, leaving Remus to his silent meltdown. He groaned, slumping back into the mattress. He was truly hopeless.

After locating his pants and splashing some cold water onto his face, he wandered out into the kitchen. Immediately, he was met with a delicious smell that made his stomach growl. Jane was finishing up plating his breakfast when he sat down at the table. His eyes followed the meal when she brought it over to him. He made sure to wait for her to sit down and start eating before he took his first bite.

A few minutes of eating and awkward silence passed. Jane set down her fork and folded her hands on the table.

“I know you tried to leave this morning.”

Remus flinched. He lowered his gaze to the floor.

“No, it’s okay.” She tried to reassure him, but the confusion was strong in her voice. “It’s an… unusual situation, and I understand if you regret what happened.”

At this, Remus perked his head up. “Regret? No no no.” He shook his head. “I don’t regret it. I thought that you might’ve, though.”

She frowned. “Why did you think that?”

“Waking up to an empty bed tends to give off that impression.”

“Oh.” Now it was her turn to shake her head. “No, I definitely don’t regret anything. I usually get up early to shower and make tea. I didn’t want to wake you.”

He quickly brushed away the mental image of her naked in the shower and changed the subject.

“I do have to head home today, though. I’m sure you have plenty to do.”

She studied him from across the table. “Where are you living nowadays? You never said.”

He faltered. “Oh, you know.” His hands waved vaguely in the air. “It’s a quiet place. Very isolated.”

He felt like she was reading him. Piecing things together right in front of him. Thinking.

“Remus,” she said in that all-too-familiar tone. “I’m only asking because you’re starting to worry me. Tell me you do actually have a place to live.”

He chose this opportunity to take their dishes up to the sink. His silence was telling enough.

“Why didn’t you say anything? You could have gotten ahold of me. I would have let you stay here.”

He turned the water on to drown her out and washed their plates while he thought of a response.

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Bothering me should be the least of your worries if you’re starving on the streets!”

“Hey.” He pointed at her with the dish towel. “Mind you, I wasn’t on the streets. I had a bed. And… walls.”

“A bed and walls? What, were you squatting in an abandoned house?”

“Technically, it’s more of a shack.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

He heard her walk up beside him. He could sense her pleading stare without looking up from the sink.

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“You were going to offer me a handout. I’m not invading your living space just so you can sleep peacefully at night. I do have some dignity left.”

Jane huffed. Her arms crossed over her chest. “Would you rather have your dignity or a roof over your head?”

He sighed, finally turning to face her. He placed his hands on her shoulders--his wet hands… he really should have dried them first--and looked deeply into her eyes.

“Look,” he started, “I know that my situation isn’t ideal. But I’m getting by. I’m okay. I appreciate that you care about me and you want to help, but I’m fine.”

She stared back at him, looking like she wanted to say more. Instead, she licked her lips and gave in.

“Fine. But at least stay for dinner.”

“That I can do.”


	3. Creekside Shenanigans

It had been almost a week since Remus had agreed to stay at Jane’s place. He’d only intended to spend the night; maybe two nights at the most. But she had been persuasive, and he kept finding himself staying another day, and then another day, and then another. She had even gone as far as going into town to buy him a toothbrush and a few other stray items that he hadn’t thought to bring. The only clothes he had were the clothes on his back. He really didn’t intend to stay for so long.

And yet, here he was. Reading a book in her backyard.

One thing still made him feel apprehensive about their situation. Ever since the first morning, Jane had not made any advancement towards him. They were almost back to being close friends, if not for the fact that they slept together on the first night. He was still invited to join her in bed, and he always accepted, hoping for more. But she’d simply bid him goodnight and turn the lights off. As casual as saying hello to an acquaintance at the store. Strictly friendly. Remus was confused.

The sex was good. To be fair, he didn't have much to compare it to. But a good shag was a good shag, and he could recognize a job well done. She had implied that she didn’t regret it the morning after. She wasn’t acting cold at all, she just wasn’t initiating anything. Remus briefly wondered if he had done something wrong; if he had somehow given the impression that he just wanted to be friends--or worse--that he didn’t enjoy it.

As he finished the last page of the chapter he was on, he promptly closed the book. Maybe this was on purpose. Maybe she was letting him test the waters first; maybe she wanted him to make the first move.

Or maybe Remus was a gigantic fool and he’d missed his window of opportunity. Either way, Remus knew one thing. He didn’t want to wake up next to an empty bed again. The next time he saw her, he’d make a move. He’d let their hands touch, or he’d tuck her hair behind her ear, or maybe he’d be more daring and come up behind her-

“Getting some reading in, I see.”

To say that Remus jumped would be an understatement. His initial plan of confrontation immediately left his brain.

“I didn’t hear you coming.” He tugged at the collar of his jumper. “I think you nearly killed me.”

“Clearly.” She took a seat beside him. “I thought about going down to the creek later tonight. Sound like an adventure you’re up for?”

He pretended to think about it (as if he’d ever say no). “I could be persuaded.”

She raised her eyebrows in a way that made Remus smirk. “Fantastic.”

They watched a bee fly by and land on a flower. A comfortable silence fell over them.

“We should find you a change of clothes,” she stated. “As much as I love this look, you need more than one outfit. It’s been nearly a week.” Her eyes widened. “And it’s summer! You’re dressed like you’ve got a winter trip to Hogsmeade to chaperone. How have you not died from heat stroke yet?”

Remus knew she was right. He did wash his clothes, but having only one outfit was extremely inconvenient (and not to mention, unhygienic). Perhaps a suit and jumper were not the best summer attire.

“You’ve bought me toiletries and now you’re suggesting I bring more clothes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to keep me here.”

She bit her cheek and watched the bee fly over to the next flower. “Well, why not?”

“Pardon?”

“Why not,” she repeated. “You’re in need of a proper place to live. You're good company to have around. You could stay… if you want to.”

Remus gawked at her. “I couldn’t ask that of you. I don’t have enough money to pay you a proper rent!”

“You don’t need to pay me rent.”

“If I’m to live here, I’m paying you rent. That much is certain. And besides,” he shook his head, “I’d take up too much space. And the full moon…”

“It’s nothing I haven’t experienced before, Remus. And you wouldn’t take up space. I can clear out room in my wardrobe for you. You have the woods to run around in on transformation nights. We’d make do.”

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I’ve already overstayed my welcome here. You’ve been an extremely kind host this week. I feel guilty even being here right now.”

“I’m happy to have you. I’ve been happy to have you all week.” She looked at him with big, innocent eyes. “I couldn’t take rent from you, but if you feel that it’s necessary, you could help me around the house, or work in the garden. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“You are impossibly relentless, you know that?” He chuckled. “I need to head back soon anyways. My wolfsbane supply is back there. I can’t be caught without it.” _Not again, at least._

She hummed, knowing he was right. The mutual silence returned once more. Sometime during their conversation, their knees had touched. Neither person made any attempt to move. Remus’s mind began to wander back to what he was thinking about before Jane joined him. Now seemed like a prime opportunity to do something.

“I’ll start fixing up something for dinner,” said Jane, standing up.

_Say something. Right now. Do it._

“Let me know if you need any help with it.”

_Not that. Say something else._

She had already walked a few feet away before Remus found his voice again.

“Jane?”

She stopped. “Yeah?”

Suddenly, his mind blanked. He hadn’t actually given any thought to what he’d say. Jane stood patiently, waiting for him to speak.

“Um.”

He couldn’t believe how he couldn’t think of a single way to start this conversation. She was watching him with a curious expression. He shouldn’t have said anything. Now he looked stupid.

“Let me know when you’d like to head down to the creek.”

_Nice one._

“Will do, chief.”

She walked away, leaving behind one very flustered Remus.

* * *

The sun had almost completely set when Jane had tugged on his sleeve and led him outside. She was up to something. Remus could tell.

The path to the creek was surprisingly shorter than he expected. It was nice and quiet there. It seemed like the perfect place to set up camp.

“We’re gonna travel a little farther upstream,” she announced, noticing how Remus had gone to sit down by the water. “It’s much deeper upstream.”

“Deeper for what?” he asked. Jane had only smirked and walked away.

Fifteen minutes later, she reached a spot that she was satisfied with. The sun was now gone, replaced with pale moonlight. She held a hand out to stop him.

“This is perfect.”

Remus glanced at her through the side of his eye, wondering what she had planned. He didn’t trust how secretive she was acting. He tossed his coat on the ground by the water’s edge and got comfortable.

That is, until he happened to look over at Jane again.

She had taken off her shirt and was working at the button of her jeans. He knew he should look away, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Once her jeans were off, her bra was next. He thought she’d stop there, but to his shock, she let her panties fall to the ground. She jumped into the water without looking back.

Remus did not move. He was shocked, a bit flustered, and definitely confused.

Her head broke the surface and she laughed, pulling her wet hair from her eyes. When she finally looked at Remus, his stomach all but dropped.

“You’re insane.”

“The water’s nice.”

“You’re going to get caught.”

“You should join me.”

Her offer lingered in his mind. He shook the idea away.

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s quite fun, actually.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

She narrowed her eyes at him before ducking back under. She reappeared at the bank of the creek, hovering dangerously close to where Remus sat.

“I can assure you, nobody comes down here. I’ve never run into anyone in all my years of living here.”

He hated how easily he wanted to give into her. She held so much power over him, it ought to be illegal.

“I’ll pull you in right now. Your clothes will get all wet. I won’t hesitate.”

He chuckled dryly. “I’d like to see you try. I weigh twice as much as you, if not more.”

“Hey,” she scolded, giving him a warning splash. “No talking bad about yourself.”

He dipped his toes in the water, but quickly retracted them when he saw her mischievous gaze focus on them. He wasn’t joking when he said he doubted she could pull him in, but he didn’t want to play his luck. Jane’s arms came up to rest on the bank. She bowed her head and looked up at him with puppy eyes.

“I bet Sirius would join me. He’d probably call you out, too.”

He definitely would.

“But I won’t pressure you,” she sighed, holding eye contact for one more long moment before dramatically diving backwards. The dark water teased right above her breasts, barely concealing them. “I’ll just swim all alone. By myself. With no friends to join me.”

Remus rolled his eyes as he fought the amused grin forming on his face. His jumper was the first to go. He wasn’t wearing underwear, so his trousers were the last step.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he mumbled to himself. Jane had her head turned, oblivious to the strip tease going on behind her. Remus backed up, took a running start, and jumped in.

She didn’t lie. The water really was nice.

When he broke the surface, he was met with an extremely stunned Jane. Her face was frozen in an awed smile.

“Nobody is to hear about this,” he warned, still hiding his grin.

“It would make for a great party story, though.”

He splashed her in retaliation. She laughed, shielding herself with her hands.

He had gone skinny dipping once before. He spent the summer at the Potter’s house one year, joined by his other friends. They had nicked a few bottles of liquor and snuck out to the pond late at night. He had forgotten how exhilarating it was. Incredibly risky, but undeniably fun.

“Wait,” he said. “You mentioned Sirius. Have you met him?”

“Aside from Halloween, no.” Jane waved a mosquito away from them. “Neville told me about the escape, and about the night at the willow. He’s good friends with Harry and the gang.”

“He was innocent.” He smiled. “I knew there were parts of the story that didn’t add up. I just wish someone would have found out sooner.”

Remus flicked his head to get the hair out of his eyes. It reminded Jane of a wet dog. She relaxed and let herself float for a while. Remus did the same. The stars were very clear tonight. He could’ve stayed there for hours admiring them.

The sound of leaves snapping brought them both out of their wandering thoughts.

“What was that?”

“Shh!”

The sound grew closer. Without missing a beat, Remus grabbed Jane around the waist and pulled her against him. He backed up against the steepest part of the bank and hid them both from view. He silently thanked whatever higher power that was listening for not cursing him with an unfortunate erection at that moment in time. With Jane flush against him, it definitely would’ve made things awkward.

“I thought you said that nobody comes down here?” he whispered anxiously.

“I’ve never seen anyone before!”

“ _Shh_!”

From out of the shadows trotted a lone doe. It blinked at them before dipping down and drinking from the creek.

Jane bursted into laughter. The sudden noise must’ve startled the poor creature, as it quickly turned and bolted away. Remus watched it flee, letting go of the breath he’d been holding.

“Oh my god,” she gasped between giggles. “You were so quick.”

“I think my life just flashed before my eyes.”

“Your heart was beating so fast, Remus. You were really scared.”

He shoved her away playfully. “Like you didn’t completely freeze up.”

Her laughter died down, save for the occasional small giggle here and there as the scene replayed itself in her mind.

“Right then,” she said, lifting herself up onto the grass. “That’s enough cardiac arrest for one night.”

Remus followed her out of the water, collapsing onto his back. He was still trying to recover his breath, but his chest began to shake with spasms of laughter. Jane smiled down at him while she squeezed the water out of her hair. The fact that they were both nude escaped their minds. They were enjoying each other’s company. They were having fun.

After drying off a bit, the pair gathered their clothes and started the trip back home. It was a quiet journey, which gave Remus time to think. He could try to start the conversation from before again. He could speak up and voice his concerns.

Without saying a word, Remus brushed his hand against Jane’s while they walked.

_Great, genius. That did absolutely nothing._

He tried again, this time snaking his fingers around hers. She looked down at their hands, and Remus felt her grip tighten.

_Small victories._

She had forgotten to leave the lights on before they left, so she had to fumble blindly through her ball of clothes to find her key. A firm hand gripped her wrist, and a moment later the porch was illuminated. She looked at Remus, whose wand was emitting a burst of light from the tip. He smiled softly.

She found the keys and opened the door.

“You can take the first shower, if you’d like. Just crack the door open when you’ve finished.”

“I meant it when I said I still had feelings for you.”

While the crickets outside sang, Jane was a silent contrast.

“I still do. I want to make that very clear.”

She stared at him. Her expression was unreadable.

“I don’t know if I’ve said something, or did something to make you think otherwise, but when I wake up tomorrow morning, I would really like to wake up with you in my arms.” His voice lost power on the final words, beginning to feel vulnerable.

She studied him as he stood before her. He suddenly felt very exposed, nakedness aside. Jane took his hand, and he let her lead him into the bathroom. It was a bit cramped in the shower, as it wasn’t built to hold two people properly, but there was still enough room for both of them to move. She turned on the water and let it fall down over them. Remus felt like he was in some sort of trance. It felt like an out of body experience.

She held him closer and stroked her thumb across his scarred collarbone. Her lips pressed softly against his skin.

“I know how you feel about me,” she reassured him. “But I didn’t know if we were on the same page. I didn’t want to scare you away again if I was wrong.”

Jane slicked back his hair and stood on her toes, kissing his forehead. “I wanted you to communicate with me when you have something on your mind, but I’m realizing that this was not the best way to go about it. I’m sorry.”

Remus nodded. He understood her intentions.

They finished their shower without talking. Words weren’t necessary. They took their time washing each other slowly, taking care of each other. In any other given scenario, it would have been sensual. But this; this was healing. It was needed.

They dried off and crawled into bed, clothes be damned. Remus didn’t wait for an invitation this time. Instead of sex, they called it a night and turned off the lights. Jane rolled over on her side to face him, instead of turning the other way. Remus was the first to fall asleep, and while Jane waited for the night to claim her, she cupped his tired face with her hand and traced over his scars with her thumb.

In the early morning, Remus woke to find Jane sitting up in bed, watching the sun rise. He squinted through tired eyes and grunted, feeling around until he felt her lie back down. She nestled into his warm body and relaxed when thin, strong arms wrapped around her.

When Remus woke later that morning to Jane still sleeping in his embrace, his smile almost rivaled the sun.


	4. The Last Bottle

August, 1995

Remus knew that this day would come eventually, but now that it was here, he was an anxious mess.

Living with Jane was greater than anything he could’ve imagined. It didn’t take much convincing from her to make the decision to stay; she’d already stolen his heart, and he couldn’t possibly leave her now. He worked around the house as promised, but it was never  _ work _ to him. Nothing involving her could ever be work, not when it was so easy to be around her. She taught him how to cook, and joined him in the garden to keep him company. Cleaning was a breeze, especially when Jane dug out her old record player. 

He returned to the shack one final time to gather his belongings. There wasn’t much to bring back, but Jane spared him cash for a taxi anyways. This was a good call, because upon returning, he quickly realized that he would’ve needed two trips without one. Two dusty boxes containing keepsakes and records packed snugly into the back compartment, and his trunk fit in the back seat. All of Lupin’s belongings fit in one single car. 

He brought back the supply of wolfsbane he’d stolen from Hogwarts, but his supply was growing thin to begin with, and he’d drunk his last bottle during the July moon. There was nobody else that could supply him without charging a hefty fee. He feared the day where his transformations would become whole; where he would completely lose control of his mind and have to submit all of himself over to the beast. In just a few days, that fear would become his reality.

He was terrified of hurting Jane. She had been preparing for this day the best she could. Together, they had built a small shed on the edge of her property. There were no windows, and the door was secured with a heavy lock. When the time came, they would travel down together and she would lock him inside overnight.

The main question was if the shed would hold or not.

If Jane was scared, she hid it pretty well. While Remus paced, she carried on with her day to day life as normal. But at night, she had to convince Remus to come to bed. He rarely slept, and when he did, he was woken up by nightmares. She always woke up with him, though instead of growing frustrated or annoyed, she would simply sit in bed with him until he calmed down, and the pair would hold onto each other until morning. How Jane still managed to put up with him, Remus had no idea.

When the symptoms of his disease began to show, they were worse than usual. Remus couldn’t walk on the first day of symptoms, which usually didn’t occur until the day before the moon. He was embarrassed, being bedridden like this. Jane had to practically carry him to the shower with her because he was so weak, which was not an easy task, considering her size. Perhaps the most mortifying part for him was the second night before the moon, when he was forced to ask her to help him stand to use the bathroom. It was a last resort request, and he had never wanted the ground to open up underneath him and swallow him up more. Still, she stood by his side, ready to help him with whatever he needed. 

The night before the moon, she laid beside him and held his hand. They had been doing that a lot more lately. He had only opened his eyes twice that day. When he felt her lips press against his knuckles, he squinted to look at her.

“Y’should sleep,” he mumbled, the pain making it difficult to speak. 

“So should you,” she said, keeping her voice low.

“You don’t deserve this.”

Jane folded her arms. “Remus, we’ve been over this. I don’t mind.”

“M’ asking a lot of you.”

“I know what I signed up for.”

Through slitted eyes, he challenged her.

“You watched me piss. Multiple times.”

She chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I did.” He felt her move the hair out of his face where it had begun to stick from his sweat. “And I’d do it again if I had to. Because I care about you, and I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

Despite his pain, he managed to smile.

Now, with the sun beginning to set, the pair began to travel down to the shed. Jane made sure to go slow to make the journey as painless as possible. Towards the end, she had to practically carry him. He stumbled into the shed, wriggling out of her grip. He collapsed in the middle, prompting her to step into the shed to help him. He held up a trembling hand.

“No.”

Jane bit her lip. She hated feeling this helpless. She waited outside and lingered by the door.

“Lock it.”

She tried to ignore the constant flood of worries that filled her head before closing the door and securing the lock. Remus began to chant something from the other side. Enchantments, probably. A smart idea, seeing as though one lock probably wouldn’t hold on its own. The stars were out now. The moon was sure to follow. She placed her hand on the door.

“I’ll come back for you first thing tomorrow. I promise.”

When he didn’t answer, she took it as her cue to head back. It was a quicker trip back to the house, and as the moon revealed itself over the horizon, she stood on the porch and looked up at the sky.

In the distance, she could hear his pained screams. It broke her heart, not being able to stand by his side this time to help him through it. Last moon, he was able to run free in the woods. Instead of tearing himself apart, he was able to focus his energy on hunting. Now, he was all alone. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. The screams never seemed to end. Eventually, she had to go inside, or she feared she might run back to him.

It was a sleepless night for the both of them. Jane cried more than she’d ever admit.

She truly didn’t mind taking care of Remus, however she knew that he hated it. Not her help, of course, but the fact that he  _ needed _ help. Nobody wants to be fed and bathed by someone else. His lycanthropy toyed with his dignity, and made him ashamed of himself. That was what she minded. His suffering.

If only she could get him to understand how she felt. She didn’t see him any differently because he needed help. She didn’t get annoyed by all the sleepless nights. She just wanted him to trust her, and feel no shame when these things happened. She would never judge him for what he was going through.

She was outside at the crack of dawn, ready to go. She didn’t even bother to put on shoes in her rush. All that was on her mind was him.

She quickly undid the lock and threw the door open. Peeking inside, her stomach churned.

He had ripped open his stomach during some point in the night and was bleeding profoundly. His whole body was pale. He looked like a corpse. 

“Remus,” Jane whispered, kneeling down beside him. The floor was damp with blood. “It’s time to go home, honey.”

He couldn’t respond, but he moved his hand slightly so that she knew he was still alive.

And so she carried him up the hill and into the house, and she got to work on his nasty gash, and when he came to, she assured him that everything was okay, and she didn’t mind taking care of him. Just like she always did. Just like she always would.


	5. Milk, Cheese, Eggs, and Penne Pasta

“I’ve been thinking.”

Remus smirked, dusting a shelf of photographs. “Oh dear.”

Jane ignored him. “You’ve said you want to get closer to Harry. Where does he stay when he’s away from school?”

“The Dursleys.” He grimaced. “Blood relatives of his mother through the wife’s side, I believe. Why?”

“Do you think he’d be keen to have dinner here?” She plucked a stray hair from his t-shirt, a recent purchase from the shops in town. “I’d offer for him to stay the night, but I don’t have a guest bedroom. Unless he wants the couch. He’s welcome to visit, if that’s something you’re interested in.”

The idea was, in theory, nice to think about. Remus hadn’t spent time with the boy outside of school in over a decade, and he would’ve been too young to remember. There was so much he wanted to say to him outside of a professional setting, and this would be the perfect opportunity. However, the Dursleys were not pleasant people. He was aware of certain attributes of the family dynamic, but Harry had let slip about the treatment he received at home during one of their private lessons, and needless to say, there was an extremely slim chance that Harry would be allowed out of the house. 

“I’d want to write to him first,” he reasoned. “Inviting him over out of the blue after a year’s worth of silence might be jarring for him.”

“Alright.” She disappeared around the corner, searching for her gardening gloves. “The idea is out there, though. That extends to anyone you want to invite over. This is your home too, you know.”

He’d taken a liking to that.  _ His home _ . Who would’ve known that such a simple idea could bring him so much pleasure? It wasn’t just empty words, either. This felt like home. Life was so much more enjoyable when he had someone else around. Someone to wake up with, someone to tell him that his shirt is inside out, someone to make fun of him when he stirs salt into his tea instead of sugar. They got along like they’d grown up together. Each of them carried their own weight, and helped each other when they needed it. Merlin knows, Remus needed all the help he could get. 

It took some trial and error. His condition was a tricky thing to work around at first, and the loss of the wolfsbane potion made things unpredictable. They found simple solutions for the minor things. Hot towels and herbal tea for the pain. Jane made it a point to venture down to the greenhouse and purchase some medicinal plants to add to her garden. A handrail was built into the side of the sink to help him get around on cycle days (much to Remus’s relief). He got his cane back from the shack, which also helped tremendously. There were stumbles, and misunderstandings, but they finally fell into a routine that suited them both. Life, as it would seem, was finally looking up.

“Could you be a dear and run into town for me?” She reappeared in the living room, gardening gloves retrieved. “I’ve written a list. I would go myself, but I didn’t weed yesterday, and the farmer’s market closes in a few hours.”

He walked into the kitchen and snatched the list from the counter. There were only a few things written down, and he’d been to the market before. Easy.

“Anything else you need before I head out?”

“Nope! If there’s something that catches your eye though, feel free to treat yourself.”

He pocketed the list and grabbed the picnic basket that Jane left by the door. Before he left, he kissed Jane on the cheek.

“I’m off, then.”

The market was within walking distance to their house, but Remus much preferred traveling by bike. Excess walking was tough on his joints, even when he wasn’t close to a transformation. The people in this town were kindhearted folk. They were eager to meet him when Jane first brought him into town. Remus liked the feel of the place; it was secluded but full of life. 

He parked Jane’s bike on the lawn and chained it to one of the bike posts. The market was set up in the middle of town, on the open park lawn that was surrounded by shops and cafes. People of all different trades set up booths and tables there. Remus unfolded the list again and scanned it over. The first item was milk.

_ Milk… milk… milk… _ He wandered through the maze of booths until he found a dairy farmer. The older gentleman offered him a bag of ice to keep it cool in the basket, which Remus thanked him thoroughly for. He also bought the cheese that was next on the list.

A man bumped into him as he turned to walk away. Remus thought nothing of it, apologizing and giving him space.

He moved onto the next proprietor, someone who he’d met before. Jane introduced him to her while they were out shopping for clothes. Mrs. Koburn owned a poultry farm down the road, and Jane claimed that one day, she’d convince the woman to sell her a chicken of her own. It was a funny image, picturing Jane chasing a chicken around her garden. The noise alone was an immediate turn off for him.

“Mr. Lupin,” Mrs. Koburn smiled. “Venturing out on your own this morning?”

“I’m proud to announce that I’ve graduated from houseguest to personal shopper.” He pointed to the eggs. “Your finest dozen, if you please.”

He paid the older lady and went on his way. On his quest for fresh penne noodles, his nose rerouted him to a baker’s stand, where an array of sweets was displayed. He picked out a lemon bar for himself, and a slice of pound cake for Jane. The man behind the display stared beyond Remus, focusing on something behind him.

“How much for these?”

The man snapped out of his gaze, turning his attention to Remus. “Two pounds a piece.”

Remus counted through his money, handing the correct amount over. The man paid him no attention, instead focusing on whatever he was looking at from before.

“Do you know that man?” The baker asked, nodding his head. Remus turned around. The man that he’d bumped into before was lingering in the crowd, watching him from afar. The hairs on Remus’s arms stood up.

“No, I don’t.” He wrapped the desserts up in paper and placed them into the basket gingerly. “Any reason?”

He frowned. “He’s been watching you. I saw him follow you up here.”

“That’s peculiar.” Remus clenched his teeth. “Thank you for alerting me.”

Pasta. All he needed to find was pasta. Then he could go home. Remus tried to blend into the crowd, taking sharp turns and keeping his head low. Sure enough, he noticed the man following his steps, staying far enough away as to not stir any attention. He was definitely being watched. He weaved his way through produce stand after produce stand, trying to throw the other man off his trail. The man walked faster as he tried to keep up. Something wasn’t right; Remus could feel it in his blood. He reached for his wand, but remembered he’d left it at home. It was always in times of panic that he didn’t have the damn thing on him.

He bought the pasta without looking up at the seller and made a beeline for his bike. He had to get home without the man seeing him. His legs burned as he pedaled as quickly as he could. A car turned the corner, forcing him to slam on the brakes to let it pass. While at a standby, Remus sensed movement from the alley between the flower shop and the laundromat. A woman wearing dark sunglasses had her eyes locked on him. She raised her arm to fix her hat, and that’s when Remus saw it; the telltale skull tattoo on her forearm.

Remus disapparated without checking to see if any muggles were watching. A careless move, but one that was warranted in context of the situation. He reappeared at the edge of Jane’s property, stumbling over the bike and slicing his leg open on the pedal. The basket fell in front of him, the contents of his shopping trip rolling out onto the lawn. The eggs were definitely broken, but that was the last thing on Remus’s mind.

The house was filled with the sound of David Bowie. Jane hummed along, drying and grinding her foraged wolfsbane on a wooden tray. Her sleeves were pushed up to her elbows, and she wore thick rubber gloves. Wolfsbane was a deadly plant; anyone who handled it had to do so with the utmost of care. 

“That was quick,” she noted, picking up another dried flower with a pair of tweezers. “I finished weeding early, so I figured I’d start on this wolfsbane so you can start researching the potion. It’ll give you something to do when you’re bored.”

Remus dashed into the kitchen and pulled the needle off of the record. He was out of breath, and had to support himself against the wall.

“I have to leave.”

Jane turned around. “What?”

“Jane.” He crossed the room and held onto her by her wrists. He stared down at her intensely. “I’m being watched. There are death eaters in town. They know we’re here. I had two try to follow me home. They know I saw them.”

Jane squeezed her eyes shut. “How did they find you?  _ Wh _ y are they after you?”

“I don’t know, but we don’t have much time. I apparated, but if they’re in town, they’ll find this place eventually.”

“I’m going with you.” She said this matter-of-factly, slipping out of his grasp to slide her gloves off. Remus tensed.

“No you’re not.”

“Yes I am.” She washed her hands in the sink, paying him no mind. “It’s non-negotiable. I’m coming with you.”

He groaned, nursing the skin between his brows with his fingers. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, she did have to come with. She was now dragged into this mess by association. If he left her alone, they’d go after her for answers.

“Okay. But we need to move now.”

They scrambled to pack, only bringing necessities and whatever else they could carry. Remus had his trunk, and Jane had a large red suitcase which she kept hidden under her bed. He didn’t have very many belongings to begin with, so he hastily helped Jane with her stuff. The two made record time.

“Is that all?” asked Jane, looking around the room. Remus did the same, eyes stopping on the black book resting on her dresser. He plucked it from its resting place and tucked it away in his trunk.

“I think so, yes.”

Wordlessly, Jane picked up her bag. Her eyes took in the sight of her room,  _ their _ room, for what she felt in her gut to be the last time. Lupin took notice of her hesitance. 

“I know it’s hard to leave. Take as much time as you need. I’ll be outside.”

Jane turned out the bedroom light and strolled back into the kitchen. The sun sparkled through the window. Beyond the glass, her beautiful garden stood proudly outside. Her hand grazed over the top of the couch on her way to the door. So many memories had come from this little house. So many more could have been made.

She shook herself from her sad thoughts, however, as she was reminded of their current predicament. They had to leave now. No use getting all sentimental. It would be here when they came back.

_ Then why, _ she wondered,  _ does this feel like a final goodbye? _

As promised, Remus stood outside, waiting patiently. He met her halfway down the stone path, bending down to pluck a black-eyed susan from her yard.

“Here,” he whispered, tucking the flower behind her ear. She smiled warmly.

They both turned around at the end of the path, looking back at their little slice of paradise. Jane inhaled sharply and clutched Remus’s hand.

“Let’s go.”

Trunk and suitcase secured, the pair started their journey. Although he appeared calm and collected on the outside, Lupin was heartbroken. Here he was, already burdening Jane with his condition and his unannounced appearance. She had accepted him graciously without question. But he knew she didn’t ask for a life like this. Because of him, she was now on the run. She had to leave her life behind because he’d shown up and brought her into a world that she wasn’t ready for. A world that he never wanted her to see. She was now in danger, and he had been the one who’d put her there.

She seemed to sense his regret, as she clutched his hand tighter.

“Where do we go now?”

“The Order has a cover house. It’s nearly impossible to find if you don’t know where to look. Only members of the Order know where to find it.” He glanced down at her, feeling another wave of guilt. “We’ll be safe there.”

“The Order?”

“It’s a group of people that formed around the start of the first war. I can’t speak about it in depth until we’re safe, but I promise I’ll tell you everything when we get there.”

“How  _ will _ we get there?” she asked nervously. “If it’s magic, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get in.”

“You’ll get in,” he reassured. “We’ll have to apparate, but you’ll get in.”

After walking down the road for a while, he pulled her aside. They began to trek into the woods, out of sight from passing cars.

“Hold onto me. As tightly as you can.”

She wrapped her arms around him. Remus drew his wand from his side and focused on the destination. They disappeared with a staticky  _ pop _ .

When they reappeared outside of a tall row of buildings, Jane fell forward. Remus caught her by her elbow before she hit the pavement. She felt awful, like she’d been out at sea all day in the middle of a storm.

“Your first time apparating is always the worst.” He set their luggage down on the sidewalk. “The sick feeling goes away after a minute.”

He glanced at the row of buildings curiously. Jane did the same.

“Is this the place?”

He frowned. “Well yes, and no. Truthfully, I’ve never been to this safehouse. We’re in the right spot, but I’m forgetting a crucial step.”

He raised his wand and muttered something under his breath. Suddenly, the buildings began to shift. Gradually, a new building appeared in between the moving row. Jane watched in a mixture of awe and terror.

“Welcome to 12 Grimmauld Place.”

Her frightened face turned to gawk at him.

“Those people in the buildings-”

“-They didn’t feel a thing. Don’t worry.”

This seemed to put her at ease. They walked up the steps, and Remus knocked on the door. When nobody answered, he shrugged.

“In we go.”

The floor creaked under their feet. The place had definitely seen better days. The lights in the hall were quite dim, but the dust that floated around was still visible. The hallway itself was very narrow, with a dark staircase to the left that led up into an infinite amount of floors. Wallpaper peeled up from the edges of the wall. Rushed footsteps were quick to greet them.

“Remus Lupin!”

A short, red haired woman bounced into the hallway. She was quick to hug him, holding his face in her hands.

“Always a pleasure, Molly.”

She fussed with his hair, and examined him head to toe, giving him motherly observations about needing to be fed more and catching more sleep. Her attention then turned to Jane, who stood awkwardly in Lupin’s shadow.

“And who is this, dear?”

“This,” he said, stepping aside, “is Jane Adeline. She’s-”

“-his lover!” shouted a familiar voice from another room. 

“ _ Ronald _ ,” hissed a female voice. “Hush up! They’ll hear you!”

“These walls are Black walls. They’re probably enchanted with soundproof magic, or whatever bloody dark magic they used back then.”

Both Remus and Jane blushed, immediately recognizing the voices of their former students. Jane stepped forward, extending her hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” she said shyly. The woman chuckled.

“Oh dearie, I’m a mom. I only give hugs.” She pulled her into a welcoming hug. “I’m Mrs. Weasley, but please dear, Molly is fine.”

A loud bang echoed from above. Molly huffed, giving them an apologetic look.

“That would be the twins, from the looks of it. Excuse me, dearies.” She shuffled past them and climbed upstairs. 

“Keep that wretched noise down, the both of you!”

As Molly left, another person appeared. This man needed no introduction.

“Everybody beware, there’s a wolf among us now.”

A slender man with long, dark hair stepped into the light. Remus’s face lit up. They met each other in two swift strides, embracing one another tightly. They muttered hushed greetings, gripping each other’s shoulders and gazing happily into each other’s eyes. Remus was beaming in a way that Jane had never seen before.

“Sirius Black?”

The boys spun around at the sound of her voice. Remus looked like he’d forgotten she was there. Sirius eyed her curiously.

“That’s the name.” His curious gaze transitioned smoothly into a seductive smirk. “And who might be asking?”

Before Sirius could saunter over, Remus placed an iron grip on his shoulder.

“Hands off, Padfoot. She’s mine.”

Sirius turned to Remus. His mouth was wide open.

“You mean to tell me,” he said, “that  _ you’ve _ got a  _ girl _ ? You? The poster boy ‘lone wolf’?”

She stepped up beside him and felt his arm wrap around her.

“Sirius, this is Jane. Jane, Sirius.”

Sirius held her hand and bowed, making sure to kiss the back of it and make a show of doing so. Jane held back a giggle as she felt Remus’s grip around her tighten slightly.

“Sirius Black, at your service. Not a murderer, despite what you’ve heard.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” she teased. “He’s told me all about you.”

“I’m willing to bet he’s only scratched the surface. There’s a lot he’s probably left out.” He winked at Remus. “Luckily, I’m an open book. I’ve got all the dirt you could ever need.”

Jane hummed, curiosity peaked. “Interesting.”

Just then, Molly returned. She looked between the two of them and clapped her hands together. “Right, rooms. Just one room, or will we be needing two?”

“Just one is fine, Molly. Thank you.” He bent down to pick up their luggage, but Molly waved his hand away. She flicked her wand, and their bags began to levitate. 

“I told you they’re shagging, Hermione!”

“You _ insufferable _ pig, keep it down!”

Remus blushed scarlet red as Sirius patted his back and laughed. Molly slammed her fish against the wall, prompting a strangled squeak out of Ron. 

“You’ll have to ignore them. I’ve taught that boy manners, but he  _ REFUSES TO PUT THEM TO USE _ . Anyhow, there’s an open room upstairs and to the right. I’ll show you to it.”

They followed Molly upstairs to a small room. There was nothing in it but a bed, a dresser, and a lamp beside the bed. It was definitely thrown together last minute as a makeshift room for emergency guests.

“Right then, I’ll let you two unpack.” She closed the door behind her. “We’ll talk more at dinner. It’ll be ready within the hour.”

As soon as they were left alone, Remus sank down onto the bed. He inhaled deeply, covering his face on the exhale.

“They’re good people. An interesting lot, but a good lot.”

She grinned devilishly, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. “So I’ve finally met a marauder; the famous Sirius Black. Officially, this time.”

He groaned, tucking her head under his chin.

“Sirius is a loose cannon. Very… open about what he likes. But he’s my best mate. You learn to love him.”

“He’s quite the character. I can’t wait to get some blackmail from him to use against you.”

“Hey.” He shouldered her playfully. “Watch yourself.”

His lighthearted grin slowly faded. It was clear that something was on his mind.

“Today has been quite chaotic. I imagine you’re probably upset about it.”

She looked at him quizzically.

“I never meant to bring any harm to you. I didn’t want my life to affect yours like it has. You had to leave your home…” He trailed off, not wanting to list out her sorrows while they were still fresh. She put her head on his arm and breathed in slowly.

“What I left behind was a shell. A physical house, yes. But I did not leave my home. My home is wherever you are. That’s where I want to be.”

Remus closed his eyes in shame. “You’ve put up with so much because of me. I don’t understand how it hasn’t gotten to you yet.”

“I’ve lost physical things. But objects can be replaced. Your life is not replaceable.” She wrapped her arms around him. “You will never be a burden to me. I know the life I signed up for, and I’ve accepted the risks. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “But how can you say that so easily? I’ve asked so much of you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Has it occurred to you that I might actually love you?”

The room grew quiet. Below them, pots and pans scraped together in a mismatched melody. 

“It’s not going to be easy,” he confessed. “It’s only going to get worse from here. I’ve seen this happen before. People are going to die.” 

“I know.” Her thumbs traced over his scarred skin. “We’ll face it head on. One day at a time.”


	6. 12 Grimmauld Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was recently informed by a friend of mine that every time I edit a chapter, you guys get an email notification. Needless to say... I've edited an embarrassing amount of chapters. Sorry for the notification spam! I will be reading over every chapter before posting from here on out.

Later that night, 12 Grimmauld Place was full of life. The old, abandoned walls hadn’t seen this much activity in decades. The dining room was full of delicious scents instead of aged dust and mothballs, thanks to the speedy cooking of Molly Weasley.

They talked over dinner, and it was then that Jane noticed just how many people were in the house. The Weasleys took up the majority count; Molly and Arthur, the twins, Ron, and Ginny. Then there was Hermione, and of course, Sirius. Ron refused to make eye contact with Jane and Remus after the previous events of the day. Sirius informed him that there were not, in fact, soundproof enchantments in the house. Despite this hiccup, conversation flowed easily enough.

“We weren’t expecting other people to be here.” Remus filled his plate with cooked carrots and beef. “Is it no longer a safehouse?”

“Yes and no.” Arthur Weasley set his wizard paper on the table. “It’s a safehouse for Sirius at the moment, but we’ve actually changed it to a meeting place. With everything going on, and all. I’m sure you’ve heard.”

“No, I haven’t heard.” Remus frowned. “I’ve been out of the wizarding world for a while.”

“It’s bad out there.” Molly shook her head. “With the news of You-Know-Who coming back, his followers are coming out of the shadows. I think the current climate is empowering them to step forward. To be _ proud _ of it. Can you imagine?”

Remus waved his fork. “Had two of them follow me home. That’s why we came here.”

“Then you haven’t heard?” Arthur poured himself a glass of water. “Harry’s being put on trial.”

“On trial?” Remus clenched his jaw. “For what? He’s a teenage boy.”

“Ironically, that’s what he’s being charged for.” Arthur slid the paper over to him. In bold letters across the front page, Remus read:

THE BOY ON TRIAL? POTTER TO FACE THE MINISTRY

His eyes scanned over the page. “Underage magic? In front of a muggle?”

“Self-defense,” added Sirius, looking as outraged as Remus did. “Nobody casts a patronus in front of a muggle just for the hell of it. That’s a defense spell, and the ministry knows it.”

“Thought that was why you were here.” Arthur took the paper back. “I assumed you heard about the trial and wanted to see him.”

“He’ll be here, then? He’s coming?”

“Yep. Moody’s picking him up tomorrow with the others from the Order. I’ll be taking him to the trial.”

“And I’m coming with,” announced Sirius.

Molly’s eyes narrowed. “You most certainly will not. Dumbledore ordered you to stay home.”

Remus stilled. “So it’s really happening again. The Order is getting back together.”

“Dark times require it, my friend.” Sirius looked solemn. “If he’s back, then we’re gonna need all the help we can get.”

“Sorry, but I’m having a hard time following. What is the Order?”

Everyone turned to look at Jane, who visibly sank into her chair.

“She’s not a witch,” Remus explained to the confused few. “She wasn’t here for the war.”

“She teaches muggle studies at Hogwarts,” Hermione chimed in. “She was my professor for a year, before I dropped the class.” She gave Jane an apologetic look. “No hard feelings.”

“A muggle?” From across the table, Arthur’s eyes lit up. “You mean it? A real life muggle?” Molly elbowed him.

“Not the time, dear.”

Sirius waved them off. “The Order of the Phoenix. It was a group that Dumbledore put together at the rise of the first wizarding war. We fought against Vol-” several throats were cleared, “-against  _ You-Know-Who _ and his supporters. Have you learned about those events at all?”

Jane nodded reluctantly. “I’ve heard about the death eaters, and Harry.”

“So you get the gist of it. Good guys, bad guys, the boy who lived. Fantastic.” He clapped his hands together. “Essentially, we won, but we lost many members.” He grew quiet. “Dumbledore is trying to rebuild again, after the events of the Triwizard Tournament.”

Jane nodded along. “That makes sense. But how can someone come back from the dead?”

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks. Remus tilted his head, and Sirius nodded. Remus cursed under his breath.

“Peter Pettigrew.” Sirius groaned. “Old blood magic. Harry said he watched him cut his own hand off.”

“Bloody death eaters,” said Fred. He nudged George. “Admission prices cost an arm and a leg, these days.”

“They’ve got hands in a lot of pies, I’ve heard.”

“Severed ideologies, that bunch. Cutting ties left and right. Gotta give ‘em a hand, though. I’d kill for a slice of their fortune.”

“ _ Boys _ ,” barked Molly, shooting them a dark look. Ginny tried to hide her silent giggles with her napkin.

“Regardless, he’s back. And this time, we’ll be prepared.” Sirius fisted his knife in his hand, absentmindedly carving dents into the wooden tabletop. 

Dinner came to an end, and Remus stayed in the kitchen to help Molly wash up. Jane chatted with Hermione for a while, with Ron hovering in the doorway, still too embarrassed to approach her. Then, she retired to her room to unpack. 

Sirius was leaning against the wall outside the door, tapping his wand to his chin. Jane nodded in acknowledgement, planning on entering her room alone, but Sirius followed her in.

“We’ve met before, haven’t we?”

“Yeah. You almost got me fired.” Jane snorted. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Sirius Black, getting others in trouble at Hogwarts?” He faked a gasp. “Who would’ve thought?”

Jane laughed, beginning to fold their clothes away in the shared dresser. Sirius offered his help, which Jane accepted gratefully.

“So you were living together? You and him?”

“Mhm.”

“As… a couple?”

She grinned. “That’s the impression I got, yeah.”

Sirius nodded energetically. Jane noticed how his eyes flicked back and forth, as if he were piecing something together in his mind.

“Would you say it’s serious? Like, has it been a while, or is this recent?”

“Pretty recent.” She finished folding Remus’s sweaters, and moved to her own clothes. “Am I being interrogated right now?”

Sirius swallowed. “No! Of course not. I’m just curious, that’s all. He’s my best mate, you know.”

“So I’ve heard.” She raised an eyebrow. Sirius visibly brightened.

“He’s talked about me! You said before. What kind of stories did he tell you?”

“Not really stories, per say. Descriptions of you. He said you were Harry’s godfather.”

“I am,” he said proudly. He puffed out his chest. “Once my name is cleared, we’re going to live together. We’ll be a proper family.” His expression faltered, but only for a flicker of a second. “He deserves a family, at the very least.”

Jane drummed her fingers against the suitcase on the bed. “I’m… sorry. About what you’ve gone through. I don’t know much about Azkaban, but I know it’s not a great place to be.”

Sirius shrugged it off. “That’s in the past. I’m out now. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me.”

“Still…”

“Dumbledore made a mistake. That’s all there is to it.” Sirius coughed. “It was a different time. We all acted in ways we never thought we would. War does that to you.”

“Do you really think that’s where we’re headed? Another war?”

Sirius leaned forward and sighed. His black curls fell into his face.

“It’s coming. I don’t know when, but I can see the patterns lining up again.” He sniffed. “This time, we’ll be ready.”

“Do you trust Dumbledore?” Jane was quick to backpedal. “I mean, I know he’s good. But you trust him, even after everything?”

Sirius pondered this for a moment. “I trust that he knows what’s best, however I do question his methods at times. But the Order back then was not as organized as it is now. We’re better prepared, and we’ve been through this before. Things will be different.”

The floorboards creaked. Remus loitered by the door, arms crossed and donning a smug grin.

“Folding my underwear, Black? I remember a time when it was the other way around. Finally gained a sense of organization?”

Sirius tossed a pair at the taller man. “Figured it was about time I repaid you. Merlin knows how I would’ve survived school without your hovering mom presence.”

Jane couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. “ _ Hovering mom presence _ ?”

Sirius flailed his arm dramatically. “He was like a second McGonagall.  _ Sirius, don’t forget to pack your broomstick kit with your gloves. Sirius, don’t stay out late, you have a charms essay due tomorrow morning. Sirius, get your feet off the table, nobody wants to smell that. _ ” He shimmied past Remus. “It’s like I had a bloody girlfriend trailing me around.”

Something in Remus’s presence changed. He looked down at his arm, where Sirius had brushed up against him. He seemed to be deep in thought.

“He was very eager to talk,” Jane explained, trying to snap Remus out of his daze. “Very curious about you and I.”

He strolled over and hooked an arm around her chest.

“And what did you tell him?”

She smiled, pressing back into him. “Only your deepest, darkest secrets.”

“I should’ve known not to trust you two alone in a room together.” He turned her around and secured his hands on her waist. “How about we finish up packing and get some rest?”

Remus saw Sirius watching from the corner of his eye. He was standing outside in the hallway. He tipped his head at Remus and then disappeared without a word.

“Good call.” She tapped his cheek. “We need you well rested for your reunion with Harry tomorrow.”

* * *

Harry arrived the following night. More members of the Order had shown up in the meantime, flooding the dining room. Jane met Tonks--Sirius’s cousin--who was quick to correct Sirius when he introduced her as Nymphadora. Tonks was an interesting girl. Her hair shifted colors on command, as did her eyes. Remus explained that she was something called a metamorphmagus, to which Jane simply nodded along. Nothing surprised her anymore. If someone told her that the tooth fairy was real, she’d wholeheartedly go along with it without a shred of disbelief.

Then there was Mad Eye Moody, a man who (until recently) Jane thought she’d known, but had evidently never met. Someone stole his identity during his time teaching at Hogwarts, pretending to be him the whole time to get closer to Harry. The real Moody that now stood before her was much grumpier, and carried a no-nonsense tone with him. Their true first encounter was nothing short of a nightmare. Moody shuffled in, fixed his magic eye on her, and pinned her up against the wall with trained reflexes and a surprising amount of strength. It took a combined effort of Arthur and George to pull him off of her, while Sirius held Remus back from hexing him to hell and back.

“Are you out of your damn mind?” Remus barked, squirming to get out of Sirius’s blockade.

“She’s a muggle among wizards, Lupin. She doesn’t belong here!”

“She works for Dumbledore, you fucking idiot!”

They finally managed to pull him off of her, though Moody looked miserable about it. Jane smoothed out her shirt, still trying to process what just happened.

“I oughta obliviate her.” He pointed his wand at her, and then followed through until it landed on Lupin. “Where’s your head, boy? There’s a war coming. Figure out where your allegiances lie”

“They lie with Dumbledore, the man who  _ employs her _ .”

Needless to say, Jane and Moody kept their distance. While they left to get Harry, the remaining adults discussed the issue at hand: Harry would ask questions, and they weren’t ready to give him answers. Ron and Hermione were sworn to secrecy, having already been present for Sirius’s explanation of the Order, as were the other kids. They were sent away to the other room while they waited for the boy’s arrival.

“I say we tell him.” Sirius leaned back in his chair. Remus sighed, bowing his head. This caused a round of bickering from the adults.

“He’s just a boy,” protested Molly. “Give him a while. Let him grow up.”

“He can’t grow up if there isn’t a world for him to grow up in.”

Jane watched Tonks stumble into the room. Her coat was wet from the condensation in the sky. Apparently, they flew him here.

“Guys,” she hushed, noticing how no one heard the front door slam shut. “Hold off for now, I think he’s here.”

They continued to speak over one another, paying her no mind. Tonks winked at her, taking the empty seat beside her.

“Can you hear me? He’s here.”

Tonks patted her hand and shook her head. “They won’t listen to you. Let them figure it out.”

Not even a second later, Harry appeared. The room went silent, and Molly rushed over to him.

“Harry, dear!”

She ushered him out of the room and shut the door behind her. Sirius sat up straight in his chair, perking up like a dog hearing the mailman. His arm slung around Remus’s back. Jane disregarded how close the two men were sitting.

“I suppose we should greet him.”

Sirius clambered out of his seat and opened the door. Remus was hot on his heels.

“You’d think the queen of England had arrived.” Tonks bit into a piece of bread from the basket on the table. Jane had prepared it earlier that day. “Such a fuss.”

Remus leaned against the doorframe, his back to the girls. Sirius and Harry were talking, but their conversation was muffled in all the commotion.

“I can’t wait to see him around Harry. I cannot picture him as a parent.”

“I don’t know.” Jane rose from her seat to set the table for dinner. “I think it’ll be sweet.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that.” Tonks helped her along, taking the other side of the table. “Just the idea of Sirius having to be a responsible adult. It’s funny.”

“He never babysat for your parents as a teenager?”

Tonks laughed. “My aunt would never let him. My mum broke off from the Black family, so we never spent time with them. I only heard stories about him through rumors and tabloid articles. From what I gathered, he was a hellraiser.” She clicked her tongue. “He followed in my mum’s footsteps and left the family tree. Never looked back.”

They ate an awkward dinner together. Everyone was tense, and it only took a minimal amount of prodding from Moody before Sirius took matters into his own hands and told Harry everything. This sparked a heated debate between Molly and Sirius. They both appeared to have a parental mindset when it came to Harry; almost territorial. Sirius won in the end.

Jane ducked out early, deciding that she was out of her element. She had matters to discuss with Remus before she left for school again; matters that she herself hadn’t even thought about, with everything happening so quickly. She needed to establish where they stood, and what Remus would do while she was gone. If she had to guess, he would probably be staying here with Sirius. She didn’t mind; they had twelve years of catching up to do, and she didn’t want to intervene. Giving them privacy to heal their friendship was the best option. But all this talk of war and secret organizations made her head spin. Remus would no doubt throw himself back into all the action. It was in his nature. He’d want to fight just like his friends did. Jane only feared that this time, Remus might not fare as well.

It wasn’t her decision to make, at the end of the day. 


	7. Back Again

September 1995

After the events of last month, Jane was relieved to be back at the castle. Upon discussing their plans for the future, Remus agreed that Jane should resume her teaching position at Hogwarts. Not that there had been any discourse about her  _ not _ coming back; Remus simply wanted to make sure that it was safe for her to return after the events at her cottage. Jane reasoned that if it was safe enough for Harry to return, surely it was safe for her to go as well. She rode the train with the students, keeping a low profile in the very last compartment. There was a general feeling amongst the kids that Jane picked up on instantly. Chatter was kept to a minimum, and everyone spoke in nervous whispers. The events from the previous school year still hung heavy over their heads. Times were changing. That was evidently clear.

Regardless, school carried on as normal. Jane made a deal with Dumbledore that would allow her to travel back via portkey to bring Remus’s wolfsbane potion to him on full moon days. It had been over a year since she’d last spoken to Severus aside from forced conversation at faculty meetings, but Dumbledore assured her that the potion would be brewed and ready each month. No longer would Remus have to suffer without the comfort of his potion.

Although it was great to be back, Jane’s feeling of comfort quickly diminished. There was a new defense against the dark arts professor (again) that Jane had yet to meet. From what she’d heard, she hoped she would never have to meet her. The students told her stories at the beginning of class every day about the wicked things she said, or the strange things she did. She was sent to the school from the Ministry of Magic, which Jane remembered to be unreliable from her conversations with the Order. They were currently on a media crusade against Dumbledore and Harry, and Jane knew enough about the situation to place her trust in the headmaster over some political figurehead.

Not even a week into the semester, Jane returned from the library to find Hermione Granger waiting outside of her classroom. It was unlike the young girl to be out of her dormitory at night. She looked terrified in the pale moonlight.

“Hermione!” Jane unlocked her classroom so that they could have privacy to chat. “You’re not supposed to be up at this hour. What’s wrong?”

“It’s about…” she trailed off, putting her finger up to her lips. She leaned in closer to the professor and whispered, “...Order business.”

“Oh,” said Jane, ushering her inside. “Quickly now, before anyone sees.”

Once the door was shut behind them, Hermione began to tear up. Jane rushed to her side, guiding her to the nearest chair.

“It’s Harry,” she sniffed. “It was so awful.”

Jane’s heart pounded rapidly in her chest. “Harry? What’s happened?”

“I didn’t know who to go to, with everything being the way it is these days.” Tears streamed down the young Gryffindor’s cheeks. “He returned to the dormitories after detention with Professor Umbridge. But he wasn’t himself.”

“What do you mean?” Jane offered her a tissue. “Was he upset? Was he hurt?”

Hemione sobbed into the tissue. “It was inhumane! She made him write lines with his own blood!”

Jane stilled. Acid rose in her throat.

“He told us,” she sniffed again, “that she made him use a special quill. Whatever he wrote on the paper carved into his hand. He showed us the marks it left. Oh, it was  _ horrible _ !”

Jane rubbed circles into the girl’s back and tried to mask her ever-growing anger. She’d never given a detention herself, but she definitely knew that physical punishment was not tolerated at Hogwarts. She would have to go to McGonagall straight away.

“What did his hand say?” She asked this calmly, trying not to upset the girl further.

Hermione’s face darkened. “I must not tell lies.”

She began to cry again. Jane continued to sit with her, assuring her over and over that actions would be taken, and Harry would be okay. Truthfully, these were empty statements; Jane hadn’t the faintest idea how a blood-fueled quill worked, and she certainly didn’t know the effects of it. But branding a student was surely illegal. Umbridge would certainly be removed from her position.

Once Hermione calmed down, Jane walked her back to the Gryffindor dorms. She offered her a quick hug and sent her upstairs for the night. Then, she turned around and stomped down to Professor McGonagall’s office.

The head of Gryffindor was already dressed for bed when Jane knocked on her door. She looked mildly annoyed, but as soon as she saw Jane’s wild expression, she waved her inside.

“I apologize for my indecency, but I wasn’t expecting any visitors at this hour.”

“I’m sorry,” Jane apologized, “but you know I wouldn’t bother you so late if it weren’t urgent.”

“I know, dear.” She yawned. “Do tell me what’s wrong.”

Jane explained what Hermione told her. With each piece of the story, Minerva’s kind demeanor turned increasingly sour. By the end of it, her face was white with rage.

“That beast of a woman,” she sputtered. “She has no place being around children. This is textbook tyranny!”

She paced the length of her room, shaking her head in disgust.

“I knew she would be trouble from the moment I met her. This is targeted abuse of a student, and I will not allow it.” She lowered her voice. “The ministry’s distaste for Potter is all over the news. It’s clear as day that that barbaric baboon did it to make a point.”

“Dumbledore will have her removed,” Jane reasoned. “Surely she’ll be reported, right?”

The head of Gryffindor shook her head sadly. “The ministry is in charge of her placement here. Dumbledore has very little power over her. I’m afraid she’s here to stay.”

“That’s not right.” Jane crossed her arms. “How is that allowed? She caused physical harm to a student. That’s a blatant abuse of power.”

“Even so, the ministry will want to keep her here.” She sighed. “I will report this to Dumbledore, but I fear that there is not much we can do. Dumbledore is not in favor of the ministry at the moment. His word means nothing to them.”

“Then we’ll spread the word. She can’t get away with this.”

McGonagall held her gaze. Her lips formed a thin line.

“You must keep this between us, Professor Adeline. I’m afraid that Dolores Umbridge holds a tremendous amount of power over us all. Any form of agitation is communicated back to the ministry. We must be very careful.”

“So we’re just going to allow her to continue her abuse?”

“Believe me, Professor Adeline, I despise that woman as much as you do, and I share your frustrations. But if we ourselves are fired, the children will be more vulnerable. We have to think logically.” Her eyes narrowed. “There are a list of things I would like to do to that disgrace of a human being, but we must hold off for now.”

* * *

Remus woke abruptly to the sound of screams.

The thought he had was to reach out beside him for Jane, but of course, she was gone. She was at Hogwarts. She was safe.

His second thought was Sirius.

He threw on his robe and grabbed his wand. Again, he heard it; Sirius’s tortured screaming. He panicked. How had someone managed to get in? This place was supposed to be secured.

He tried to keep his footsteps light, as to not alert the attacker of his presence. Still, the old wooden floorboards creaked under his feet. His mouth was impossibly dry, and his heart pounded in his throat. When Sirius screamed a third time, he abandoned all caution and bolted upstairs.

His door was left slightly ajar. Remus held his breath and pressed his back against the wall, shielding him from vision. His wand nearly slipped out of his sweaty palm.

_ Sirius _ , he thought anxiously.  _ Sirius, Sirius, Sirius _ .

He counted to three in his head and kicked the door open, wand drawn. His rapid breathing flooded his senses as he scanned the room, ready to attack. Sirius twisted and turned in his sheets, mumbling incoherently. Remus entered the room slowly, scanning over every exposed area. Nobody else appeared to be in the room with them.

“No,” screamed Sirius. “No, please! Please, I can’t!”

Remus let out a shaky breath of relief. Sirius was asleep.

“Sirius,” he whispered, walking around the side of the bed. He poked the sleeping man with his wand. He writhed around on the mattress, covering his head with his hands.

“Please, stop! Make it stop!”

“Sirius,” Remus said with a little more vigor. He shook the man’s arm. “It’s just a dream, Pads. Wake up!”

Sirius gasped, eyes flying open. He panted heavily, surveying the room. When his eyes landed on Lupin, he gulped.

“It wasn’t me,” he sputtered, shaking his head wildly. He clutched at Remus, leaving marks on his skin. “They tried to take me back there, but it wasn’t me! I didn’t do it, I-”

“Shh.” Remus sat down on the bed. He pried the other man’s hands off of him and held onto them tightly. “I know, Sirius. You were having a bad dream. Nobody is taking you back to Azkaban.”

Sirius blinked rapidly. His breaths slowed down.

“You were screaming in your sleep,” Remus explained. “I came in to check on you.”

“Did I wake you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” He licked his lips. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

The silence between them was uncomfortable. It wasn’t always that way. Remus thought back to their school days, when this silence was innocent and welcomed. All those years apart had changed them both.

“Well, if you’re okay…” Remus stood up. A clammy hand reached up and stopped him.

“Don’t go,” Sirius whispered. “I… I can’t be alone right now.”

Remus hesitated. “I should really get back to bed, Pads.”

“Stay, please.” Sirius pleaded with him. Remus detected a lingering sense of fear in the other man’s eyes.

“Alright,” he said quietly, ignoring the strange feeling in his gut. Sirius moved over, giving him room to lie down. He pulled the covers up and laid on top, on his side. Sirius curled up against him from under the sheets.

“You can get under the covers, you know.”

Remus shook his head. “I can’t do that.”

Sirius looked up at him. “Why?”

“You know why.”

Sirius was silent for a moment.

“You really do like her, don’t you.” It was more of a defeated statement than a question.

“I do.”

He hummed. “It’s no different than when we were kids, Moony. That was harmless.”

“That was different.” Remus combed through his sleep-matted hair. Sirius melted into the touch. “ _ We _ were different.”

Sirius hesitated. “It’s not any different to me.”

Remus refused to comment, instead listening to the storm raging outside. Sirius shifted against him, nudging his arm so that it draped over his stomach.

“Goodnight, Moony.”

“Goodnight, Sirius.”


End file.
